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Ryan's Unit Two Grading
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last edited
by PBworks 3 years, 6 months ago
Philosophers of Chaos
I rather enjoyed the Philosophers of Chaos paper. I thought it was a very interesting topic to choose and it was a topic I would never have really thought of. I thought the paper was rather strong but it needed some deep fine tuning. The paper, I thought, needed a stronger conclusion and opening paragraphs. Also, the paper needed transitions between paragraphs to glue the previous paragraph to the next paragraph and make it so much more cohesive. I learned a lot from this paper but thought it needed more detail and more information, I was left wanting more. Overall, the paper was quite strong, rather enjoyable, and extremely interesting; I decided to give this paper a B+.
Livability
I was pleasantly surprised by the Livability paper contributed by Vicki, Christian, Tyler and James. The paper was worded very well and was immensely cohesive. This paper actually made me interested in sustainable living. I would advise this group to go back and look at the opening and closing paragraphs. The closing needs some work but it will eventually be a great closing. The opening paragraph is already written, however, it just needs an eye popping, interesting opening statement to catch the reader's eyes; the opening needs a bang. I thought the transitions of and overall flow of the paper went really well and I actually learned some information. What I believe made this paper thoroughly enjoyable is the fact that it sounded as though it came from one voice, it was not choppy and divided. Also, I liked their random spurts of pathos in this paper, it really made the paper go from a good paper to a great paper, in my opinion. After reading the paper, I decided to give this paper what I thought it deserved, an A-.
Ian, Ani, and Dylan
I thought this paper was truly great. I completely agree that it needs a remix and some editing, but all in all, it was a pleasant paper. The opening was eye catching, and the paper just flowed really well. I would certainly say to look at each paragpraph and do some group changes to it to make the sentences a lot stronger and the paper more affective. Also, the chart was very interesting, especially since not one other group decided to use one, I thought it was reather genius. I would just say to go back and go into further detail, make the paper more in depth and a little longer. Just remember to look at the sentence structure and sentence-by-sentence flow within the paper and it will be an amazing paper. Which thus allows me to come to my conclusion that this paper deserves to be given an A- or an A.
Ryan's Unit Two Grading
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